Robin Dao’s blog entry on obesity in America, "Profit or Fatness" is well thought out and structured, but is not carried out as professionally as it should be. Your second paragraph doesn’t stay on topic with your thesis statement. The use of texting dialogue “ZOMG” is not adequate in a blog in which you are critiquing the article. In your second paragraph you could have focused more on facts and how the government is involved in fast food restaurants and not so much on your opinion of the obesity issue.
You have good logic on the subject and yes we as Americans have to do something about obesity instead of just being lazy and not eating healthy. I liked how you closed your entry by implying ways in which our tax dollars could be spent. Overall is was entertaining, but you could have used a more serious tone on it and examine the issue more and how it is bad for our country.
